A standard settled before the pressure arrives is the only kind that survives the pressure.
Most people decide what they will tolerate while the pressure is already on them, which is why they lose. A line fixed in advance becomes a must, and a must ends the internal argument; with nothing left to negotiate, the state stays clear, and a clear state looks for a route instead of an excuse.
Purpose first, request second, because the asking only becomes possible once the deciding is done. For a man who has already made the what non-negotiable, a workable alternative shows up that nobody thought to offer, since he is the only one in the room asking for one. Leave it a should and he dines at the king's table, calling appetite necessity for the rest of his life.