Anguish comes from a blueprint with a deadline in it, demanding that justice arrive on the schedule you set.
Two certainties held at once will tear a person apart faster than any circumstance: a blueprint in which purity cannot coexist with treachery, and life conditions that insist it does. The gap sets the state, the state sets the emotion, and the emotion drives the one holding it to take the contradiction straight to God instead of shrugging.
Conditions will not move on demand. That leaves the blueprint, and inside it a clause: purity must act visibly and soon. Strike that clause and God's purity survives whole while the gap closes on timing. Keep it, and the waiting years are spent in bitterness, costing a person the faith they meant to defend.