The same pain crushes a person when it is only theirs and steadies them the moment it is spent for someone else.
Pain takes its entire emotional charge from the meaning assigned to it, and a man who assigns his to the strength of a church he has never met has changed the charge without touching the chains. Meaning sets the state, the state sets the emotion, and the emotion decides whether the same body reads ruin or work worth doing.
The joy is not denial. Affliction joined to Christ's own and spent on his body has a destination, and pain with a destination can be carried at a weight private pain cannot. Held alone, it gets narrated instead of spent, and the narrating enlarges it while producing nothing.