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Proverbs 25:9 · World English Bible

Proverbs 25:9 Meaning Debate Your Case with Your Neighbor

Debate your case with your neighbor, and don’t betray the confidence of another,

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What does Proverbs 25:9 mean?

Every grievance is a private matter between a mind and the brother it has judged, and it is healed only there, not by spreading the charge outward and gathering the world to one side. To carry the quarrel to a third is to make the guilt real by rehearsing it, binding oneself tighter to the very attack that needs to be released.

From the Christian Psychology reading below.

Proverbs 25:9 through 1 lens

The same verse, read by one tradition.

CHRISTIAN PSYCHOLOGY

Christian Psychology

Every grievance is a private matter between a mind and the brother it has judged, and it is healed only there, not by spreading the charge outward and gathering the world to one side. To carry the quarrel to a third is to make the guilt real by rehearsing it, binding oneself tighter to the very attack that needs to be released. When a mind takes its complaint directly to the one it holds accountable, and looks at him honestly, the accusation has room to be undone rather than multiplied.

Guilt kept between two can be forgiven. Guilt broadcast only spreads.

Neighbor: the brother the mind has a case against, the single face where the grievance must be met and let go.

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Live Proverbs 25:9 today

  1. If you are drafting a message about someone instead of to them, delete it and write to them instead. One honest line to the person beats twenty about them.
  2. When a friend starts building a case against someone who is not in the room, ask gently whether they have said any of this to them. You can care about your friend without joining the trial.
  3. At work, when you are tempted to copy a third person into an email to strengthen your position, take them off and talk to the one person first. The audience is for your fear, not for the problem.

Who am I talking about when I could be talking to them?

The same truth in other traditions

Buddhism · Right Speech

Talk that divides people, carried from one ear to another, poisons the air for everyone who breathes it. Speak to the person, or stay quiet.

Judaism · Talmud, Arakhin 15b

Slander about an absent person harms three at once: the one who speaks it, the one who listens, and the one spoken about. The words cannot be called back.

Stoicism · Epictetus

If you hear someone spoken ill of, do not join in; and about others, say as little as you can. Most harm in talk comes from carrying it further.

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